💜 Caregiver Burnout

🔍 What is Caregiver Burnout?

Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It happens when caregivers don't get the help they need, or when they try to do more than they're able - physically, emotionally, or financially.

Burnout isn't weakness. It's what happens when compassionate people pour themselves out without being refilled. It's especially common in brain tumor caregiving because:

• The cognitive and personality changes are uniquely challenging
• The uncertainty is constant and draining
• The caregiving role often increases over time
• Grief for who the person was coexists with caregiving
• Social isolation is common
• The caregiver may be dealing with anticipatory grief

⚠️ Signs of Burnout

Be honest with yourself. How many of these apply to you?

🛡️ Preventing Burnout

Accept Help

This is not weakness. This is wisdom.

• When someone offers to help, say yes - and be specific about what you need
• Create a list of tasks others can do: groceries, meals, sitting with the patient, lawn care
• Use sites like CaringBridge, Lotsa Helping Hands, or Meal Train to coordinate
• Consider hiring help if financially possible - even a few hours a week

Set Boundaries

• You cannot do everything
• It's okay to say no to visitors when you're exhausted
• It's okay to not answer every phone call
• It's okay to ask family to step up

Build Respite Into Your Schedule

• Regular breaks are not optional - schedule them
• Even 30 minutes alone can help reset
• Look into respite care services
• Identify backup caregivers for emergencies

💚 Self-Care Is Not Selfish

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself makes you a better caregiver.

😢 Dealing with Difficult Emotions

Guilt

"I feel guilty when I take time for myself." "I feel guilty that I get frustrated." "I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough."

Reality: Guilt is nearly universal among caregivers. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. You're doing an impossibly hard job. Give yourself grace.

Resentment

"I resent that my life has become about caregiving." "I resent that others aren't helping." "Sometimes I even resent the person I'm caring for."

Reality: Resentment is a normal response to an abnormal situation. It doesn't mean you don't love them. It means you're human.

Anticipatory Grief

Grieving someone while they're still alive. Grieving who they were. Grieving the future you planned.

Reality: This is one of the hardest parts of caregiving. The grief is real and valid. Allow yourself to feel it.

Anger

At the disease. At doctors. At God. At life. At the person for getting sick (even though you know that's not fair).

Reality: Anger is part of grief and a normal response to injustice. Find safe outlets - exercise, journaling, therapy.

👥 Find Your People

Other brain tumor caregivers understand in ways that friends and family cannot. Finding community is essential.

❤️ Permission to Be Imperfect

• You don't have to be the perfect caregiver
• You will make mistakes. That's okay.
• You're allowed to have bad days
• You're allowed to not have it all together
• You're allowed to still live your life
• You're allowed to laugh, even in the midst of this
• You're doing the best you can with an impossible situation

🆘 When You Need More Help

There's no shame in reaching out when you're struggling:

• Talk to your doctor: Caregiver stress has real health effects. You deserve medical attention too.
• See a therapist: Someone who specializes in grief, trauma, or caregiver support
• Call a crisis line: If you're having thoughts of self-harm or harming others
• Ask for hospice evaluation: Hospice provides support for the whole family, often earlier than people realize it's available
• Consider medication: Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication can help you function

💌 A Note Just for You

If you're reading this, you're probably exhausted. You're carrying a weight that others can't fully understand. You're watching someone you love struggle with a terrible disease, and you're doing everything you can to help them.

That is heroic work.

But heroes need rest. They need support. They need someone to take care of them too. You are not superhuman, and you're not supposed to be.

Please take care of yourself. Not just for your loved one's sake - for your own. You matter. Your wellbeing matters. Your life matters.

You are not alone in this. ❤️